Paradoxically, many asexual individuals form relationships through Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism (BDSM) – acts conventionally assumed to involve sexual desire and pleasure. I interviewed 15 asexual individuals to illuminate why they participate in interactions where sexual attraction is often expected and expressed.

<aside> 😈 I propose that BDSM helps these practitioners form non-sexual relationships by providing tools for navigating sexual expectations and redefining their behaviors as indicative of affections that do not stem from sexual desire. (From the Abstract)

</aside>

Asexual practitioners demonstrate that BDSM provides discursive spaces and conceptual frameworks for fostering and validating intimate exchanges that do not derive from or rely on sexual desire.

<aside> 😈 Their experiences encourage a second look at BDSM practice, one acknowledging that sexual attraction is not a ubiquitous component of BDSM and exploring a new dimension of communication that BDSM practice can facilitate.

</aside>

That is, BDSM possesses the potential to guide practitioners not only through negotiating what acts and dynamics would maximize both partners’ sexual pleasure, but also through elucidating whether partners intend their activities to cultivate sexual desire in the first place and navigating how the implications of particular behaviors might affect those boundaries.

(P. 561)