The context of home and family breakdown is another major site where BDSM practitioners are vulnerable to discrimination.51

<aside> 😈 For example, a family court judge may use a divorcing spouse’s interest in BDSM as a negative factor when determining settlements.52 When children are involved, things can be even worse.

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The issue we will focus on in this section addresses child custody, where kinksters can face major problems because their sexual or recreational interests are often assumed to not be in the “best interest of the child.”53 As founder of the National Coalition of Sexual Freedom, Susan Wright, explains, “An undue burden is being put on kinky parents . . . Exes are exploiting the stigma of kink to put them through these really expensive, heartbreaking custody battles.”54 (p. 371)

Sometimes the discrimination is not even based on active practice, but rather because of an association with an educational group, email list, or social media forum. In its most recent 2008 survey on Violence & Discrimination Against Sexual Minorities, comments accompanying the relevant data included: “A judge granted my former husband supervised visitation on the basis of two pictures of me bound with rope that happened to be over 10 years old” and “We are currently getting ready to fight against my husband’s ex-wife who found out about our BDSM involvement and has now decided that based on that we are not fit parents.” The 2008 survey found that of those who experienced discrimination, 6.2 percent reported loss of child custody.

<aside> 😈 It should be noted that their 1998 survey found 3 percent had this issue, suggesting that the problem for kinky parents worsened during that ten-year period.(p. 373)

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